not alone

Adolescence

Same as in the movie ‘Into the Wild’, I took a turn from the regular life and created my own. My own birth was outlined in the hello world article. Now, 3 months later I have another milestone ahead of me… crossing the Atlantic.

I have a feeling something profound will happen. Yes, I will cross an ocean (or not) and will have new experiences and stories to tell but that is not what I mean. I suspect I will like it and it will impact how I live the rest of my life.

For the last three months I stood on a slippery slope. I unplugged, literally and abstractly. I had some ideas and expectations of what it would be like and for the most part it was as expected but what really surprised me was the fundamental changes that came with it. The inner changes manifested themselves once I was exposed to this new life. Despite slowing down and being in new places I felt, no, I knew I was in the right place, doing the right things at the right time. Stepping outside also helped me better understand and appreciate the ‘regular’ life. Even though I may have looked calm on the surface, I used to feel this inner unrest. I could not shake it off. It felt as if, no matter how hard i paddled I was missing something. Now, I truly and completely feel happy… wait, what? Wow, I cant believe I just wrote that. My eyes started to water as i re-read what i wrote!

Yeah, so that is where I stand now, on a verge of profound and permanent life change, a personal evolution if you will that can not be unseen or reverted. If I still like sailing after the 3 weeks of open ocean, I will not be able to settle down. I will most likely pick a fewer number of destinations and stay there longer. Long enough to make real connections with people but then I will lift the anchor again.

I realized that real connections are important for me. Being able to stay connected even across oceans is great. Sometimes I am more connected with people on the other side of the ocean then people in the same room. I have seen so many places in the last few months that I don’t even remember them any more. However, what I remember and what makes them unique are the people that I traveled with. When looking back I think; Yeah, that was the time I was with Yoram, or Peter or Paulina… its only after that thought that I recall the country or name of the city or island. Meaningful connections are important to me and they take time to build.

Luckily, I see that I am not alone.

4 thoughts on “Adolescence”

  1. Read your blog and loved it. This is exactly how I feel now – right before my Transatlantic sailing trip. You described it so well. It will be a bit different maybe since I will sail in a team of 10 and we will participate in a race, but still, I am really looking forward to spend some time with the ocean for a very similar reason…

    1. I crossed with other 3 people. Wrote an article about it but drowned my computer before i could upload it :( I hope to recover it next month in Miami and then i will post it or rewrite it 😉 BEST OF LUCK crossing!

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